Other Such Kitchen: Your Stomach Begs You To Trust Me

Every now and then I stumble my way into something in the kitchen that is worth sharing, for better or worse.  I start with a recipe found somewhere, am unable to locate all of the ingredients it calls for, and finally surrender to using things that “ought to work.”  Sometimes it is disaster (the difference between “baking powder” and “baking soda” is both real and important).  Once I made myself very ill (eyeballing the amount of crushed red pepper to add is not a game and certainly not “easy” like The Husband told me over the phone when I asked for his culinary advice).  But this one I’m going to tell you about? It was not one of those times.

Just to be sure I did not imagine it, I have recreated it for several recent meals.  I’ve even made it once without burning something (the other times each involved a do-over, such is my way in the kitchen). Each time I have proclaimed it “to-die-for-delicious.”  Clearly, I have lived.  I’ve waited a few weeks to post this just to be sure, and all those to whom I served it: living.

But still.

Asparagus.  Bacon.  Vinaigrette.

What? You don’t otherwise like asparagus? Me either until about three years ago.  But ignore its stalky greenness for now because: BACON.  And really – has bacon ever met a veggie it couldn’t conquer?

Truly, just look at this:

Get out your grocery list – it’s perfect for this weekend.  Trust me, Sisterhood.  Here’s the what/how:

The What

• 1 bag fresh asparagus
• 4-6 slices bacon
• 1 tablespoon pomegranate-infused red wine vingar
• 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic

The How

• Snap off the bottom, tough end of each asparagus spear by bending it until it snaps at a natural breaking point.
• Optional: peel off the outer skin from the bottom half of each spear.  (Peeling is a negligible chore that lets the vinaigrette soak into the asparagus better and yields a slightly more tender spear.  Not peeling is a little faster and still plenty yummy.  The OtherSuch household is split: I’m a peeler; he’s an if-it-falls-to-me-I-opt-not-to-peel…er.)
• Cook the bacon in a single layer in a skillet over medium heat, turning occasionally.
• Once the bacon is crispy, remove it to drain on paper towels – leave grease in skillet.
• If, like me, you waited too long to remove the bacon and burned it: start over.
• Add the garlic to the skillet – while stirring let it sizzle for about 10 seconds.
• If, like me, you let it sizzle for too long and scorched the garlic: start over.
• Add vinegar, salt, pepper, and remove from the heat.
• If, like me, you did not remove it from the heat quickly enough and you have a skillet of burned sludge: start over.
• Pour the vinaigrette over the asparagus, turning the spears so they all get an even coating.
• Grill the asparagus over direct medium heat for 6-8 minutes, turning occasionally, until browned in spots (not charred).
• Remove from the grill and crumble the bacon across the top.

Try it and either leave me a comment below or send me an e-mail letting me know what you think – assuming you don’t keel over right away from the ridiculous deliciousness.  (If you don’t survive it, my condolences to your family and all, but disclaimer: I warned you.)

And if you’ve got some grill favorites of your own or a twist to add to this one, share!!